Good day and welcome to VT Music News, your most reliable source of music and music related news ever!! We pride ourselves in being just as reliable as any other news source such as, Access Hollywood, Entertainment Tonight, the 6 o'clock news or Jerry Springer. You can be sure we always have the latest information and or juicy scandals for you to devour. Today is no exception.
Our breaking story:
Katey Perry recently released her new album which features the beautiful and very very well written track "I Kissed a Girl". While walking the red carpet on her way into her CD release party an interviewer approached Perry and asked why she wrote the song? Perry stated, "I just wanted to give something back to the starving children in Somalia." This is understandable as Perry is the child of two Paster's and her previous albums were of Gospel Music. When asked if Perry has in fact ever really kissed a girl she responded saying "No, the song is a work of fiction which attempts to break down the neo-social boarders of an over-intrinsic society." Huh? "I did kiss a female dog once," Perry added, "Her name was giggles and I liked it!"
In other news:
Miley Cirus, the daughter of the Achy Breaky guy, was recently diagnosed with multiple personality disorder. Miley recently hosted the Grammy awards (why not she's earned it) and received the life time achievement award. During her acceptance speech her "other" persona Hanna Montana started a bitter argument on stage with Cirus and the two began to fight each other to the death like that time Spock hated Captain Kirk and nearly killed him. The crowd watched in terror as Cirus battled vigilantly with Montana for the rights to the award. Cirus did win the battle much to the approval of the talented crowd in attendance. She then approached the Microphone and finished her speech asking if there was anyone else who wanted a piece of her.
Shocking update:
Lindsay Lohan who recently discovered she had another sister has now recently also discovered she has a twin alien. The Alien landed yesterday after travelling 200000 light years to be with her. Separated at birth, both the twins were overcome with emotion yesterday after being re-united finally after all these years. The two were later spotted at a series hot downtown night clubs these past weeks drinking excessively and rumours have flown about gratuitous narcotics use. The Alien has denied allegations of cocaine use stating "It would harm my delicate alien structure." However it has been reported that both Lindsay and the Alien have checked into a well known rehab recovery centre in the south end. More on this story as it breaks...
Meanwhile...
Curtis Jackson, aka 50Cent, in a bold and very interesting move has decided to change his stage name to 75Cent. When asked about the reason for the change Jackson stated, "It be worth more than 50 cents and is lucky cause the number 7 be very lucky. I'm tired of getting shot, it hurts and I think the 7 will help." the interviewer then asked: "What about the number 5?" Jackson responded "I don't really give a sh*t about 5's their useless and mean nothing to me." The interviewer then asked the obvious question: "Why didn't you just call yourself 7Cent" Jackson replied curtly "Man you dumber than Willy Wonka! I already done told you that 75 cents was worth more." The interviewer nodded, paused, then a curious look came across his face, "Why Willy Wonka?" he asked Jackson. "Because that weird white boy keeps calling my celly asking to see my Candy Shop, and I'm all up on him like cracka please it be a metaphor and sh*t."
That's all for today, stay tuned for further updates.
